Blog married and dating
I can’t remember the last time I was mad at her for longer than five minutes, and her smile always seems to brighten up my day no matter the circumstances. I love to take her out to dinner, movies, local shows, and always tell her how beautiful she is.
Dear single men, I was having a conversation with a friend recently. ” Only, for this analogy to work, the captain would send that in a text message, because he lacks even the fortitude to verbalize it.He’s about my age, he’s single, and he is, I can attest, an all around good dude. But I promise you, despite popular sentiments, it doesn’t take a decade and a half to figure things out. I hadn’t seen him in a while, so I asked about the status of his love life. See, I’d been floating like aimless debris through an ocean of cloudy intentions and half-heartedness, until I grew up and realized that romance isn’t a game, and most women aren’t frivolous bimbos. I had several failed dating ‘situations’ before I got married. He told me that he’s currently ‘hanging out’ with someone. Everyone is so confused that they don’t even know what words to use when describing their relationships. We used words like ‘marriage.’ We were clear and convicted and purpose driven. They want men who know what they want and aren’t afraid to verbalize it. Some collapsed within months, others took considerably longer. We are devolving into primates, losing the ability to even discuss our own behavior using words and sentences. I know this term really offends a lot of people nowadays, but truly, fellas, let’s man up. I’m married now, but I was once a part of this hazy, undefined dating-but-not-dating scene. I never found any happiness in it, because nobody does. I was a wimpy manchild, afraid of meaningful commitments, afraid of being alone, afraid of rejection, afraid of the future, afraid of being betrayed, afraid of being loved. The average single American man is now relegated to grunts and shrugs and ‘whatevers’ and ‘you knows’ when pressed to have a conversation about his dating habits. Or his whatever habits, because whatever, you know? Or would you ideally prefer it if you could distinguish between your relationship with her and your relationship with your friend Steve?
‘Hanging out’ is how we describe what we do with our buddies. I know you might tell me you can decipher between the two based on who you’re hooking up with, but I think that’s a problem.
And, speaking of which, let’s chill with the ‘hooking up’ thing. Grown men relying on the vague, timid code words of high school freshmen.
I left that conversation confused, because confusion is the name of the game these days. USA Today did a survey of singles a while back, and they discovered something that’s been apparent for years: nobody has any idea what’s going on in their own love lives. And if they don’t want that, then they aren’t worth your energy. If she still wants to pretend she’s in tenth grade, let her live that fantasy with someone else. But all of them were eventually destroyed by problems that were clearly evident in the first, I don’t know, five minutes or so. Our disastrous modern approach to dating (or whatever) isn’t all the fault of men. All you can do, single dudes, is get your own selves together. Here’s some brutal honesty for you: if you ‘aren’t ready for something serious,’ then you need to go get yourself ready and leave these ladies alone until you do. I just want to tell you that, like, I don’t want things to get weird or whatever, but I’m not really being a captain right now.
Close to 70 percent don’t know if they’re on a date when they go on a date. Sometimes even hanging out reeks of too much commitment, in which case ‘talking’ can be used. With Alissa, things were pretty clear from the get-go. You can’t go out and have sex (I mean, ‘hook up,’ as the middle schoolers at the lunch table might call it) and then claim that you ‘aren’t ready for something serious.’ It’s too late, friend. Can you imagine if an airline pilot pulled that kind of stunt? I mean, yeah, I chose to take a plane full of souls up 32 thousand feet into the air at a cruising speed of 600 miles per hour, but I don’t want you think that this is, like, , you know?
I guess that’s because most of you are too busy “hanging out.” What is that, guys? And if talking sounds too serious, maybe we’ll start hearing ‘vicinitizing.’ That’s a word I just made up, and it means that you and your female friend are often in the same vicinity, but it doesn’t get all intense by insinuating that you’re actually in that general location together on purpose. She was looking for a grown man, and I was sick of playing games. So do you know what we did very early in our relationship? I’ve got your lives in my hands, but I don’t want this to get serious.
When did men become so afraid to make a commitment, to take the lead, to say what they want, to make long term plans, to set goals, to pursue, to talk about the future?