Dating hookup love
Here’s a peek at my experiences with the two apps, Tinder and Coffee Meets Bagel, and how they stack up.
When you open the app, you’re presented with a match. It became a way to pass the time, to look at guys’ pictures and judge them without consequences. That said, I did chat with a few interesting people on Tinder. After that, I hit a lull for a few months without any date offers, once I started admitting in chats that I was only on the quick-and-easy app to make new friends and not to hook up.You swipe left to pass or right to connect with someone, and you can then reach out or move on from there. I even ended up having dinner with a 30-year-old at a swanky restaurant and didn’t pick up any signals that he just wanted to hook up. Undeterred, I moved on to Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB) with high hopes; a few months prior, my friend had married a guy she met through the app.It becomes clear pretty quickly why people call Tinder the hook-up app; the language within the app assumes a light-hearted, casual attitude. But I knew it wasn’t going anywhere when he started making comments along the lines of “oh, you’re still young, you still have time” and “once you get to be my age, your bones just start feeling more tired.” (For the record, he wasn’t even that much older than me.) In any case, there were no sparks and I never heard from him again. Many considered this app to be safer and more reliable.With every match, I could “send a message” or “keep playing.” Though I honestly started with the intent of finding true love, after a few weeks, I realized that the app at its core just wasn’t set up for seriousness. Date number two began with an awkward moment at a coffee shop. Your account is linked to your Facebook profile so that you’re only shown matches who are friends of friends—though you have to use “beans,” the app’s internal currency, to see who those mutual friends are if you want to get their opinion.You’re limited to liking or dismissing one profile, or “bagel,” a day, and each comes with longer, more personalized bios along with photos, age, and other self-reported information like religion, ethnicity, or job description.I did occasionally opt to cash in on beans to ask friends whether they knew a few of my “bagels.” The problem though is that so many people are Facebook friends with acquaintances they’ve only met once or twice, so in reality those bagels might as well have been strangers.
Still, I did go on quite a number of dates through CMB, compared to the two from Tinder, and I noticed a difference right away.
The mentality of the people on the app was diverse, even from date to date.
It’s no longer news that dating in 2014 is drastically different from how it was 10 years ago.
Many people have attributed the change to the rise of social media or the popularity of Korean dramas—but especially the ubiquity of online dating apps.
And like it or not, it looks like the apps are here to stay.
So, as an unattached Mochi staffer interested in finding a potential future boyfriend, I decided to test out two of the most popular options for myself.