Men commitment dating
So months or years go by and the girl just figures (even after all this time) that if she just loves him enough, he’ll be strong enough to love her back.
Guy has become emotionally dependent on the girl for her love and support, but he knows in his heart that the situation isn’t what he actually wants.The typical scenario where a woman will label a guy a “commitment phobe” is when he’s been seeing a girl for a while – they spend the majority of their time together, they eat together, they sleep together and so forth…he won’t commit in an official sense. For most guys, he won’t catch feelings for the girl as long as he never looks to her for emotional support.That’s usually when they’ll come to me looking for answers. First, I can tell you right off the bat that he’s not a “commitment-phobe.” That term was invented by some psychologist to diagnose .0001% of the population for a very specific, extreme condition. Most likely scenario: The placeholder relationship. Once a guy starts leaning on a girl emotionally, he starts becoming attached to her on an emotional level.However, as with nearly every psychological diagnosis, it gets slapped on , and on and on and on. Now the girl who he only intended to keep around to keep from being lonely becomes this pseudo-girlfriend. it’s that he’s (and I cringe to type these words) When it comes to all things sex and companionship, a guy will say, “Sure, if you’re offering…” Problem is, guys typically have a terrible gauge on whether or not they’ll catch feelings for the girl.And here’s where it gets really perverse: On some level, both parties know that if the guy gets into a place of true emotional strength and independence, he’ll leave the girl.
It’s subconscious in most cases, but I’ve seen it play out enough times that it’s prevalent in these situations.
What ends up happening is that the guy will make sure the girl has hope to keep chasing him.
On the one hand, he cares for her and wants her around. The rationale he makes in his head is that once he “gets himself together” (that is, he starts actually the things in his life that he intends to do), he’ll break things off with his not-girlfriend all good and tidy and go for the girl he actually wants to be with. most people go their whole lives The girl supports him emotionally and faithfully acts as his crutch so that he can find his strength and become the man he’s always wanted to be.
After all, he feels better when she’s there versus when she’s not. She aims to bring him comfort and relief from his painful and tragic life.
What ends up happening is he becomes dependent on her to be his emotional crutch.
Instead of getting stronger, he gets weaker and more attached to this girl.